Today is Gratitude

Thats right.
Today, is, gratitude.
I am swimming in it-melting into it-drinking it-crying it-get the drift?
Gratitude.

A new chapter of my life has begun friends.
WAKE UP!

,,,,,I'd say it began, well that's hard to say, but when I noticed it had begun was when Terrance (one of the sweetest and most powerful healers I've had the pleasure to work with) pinned me to the Earth under his feet. Smashing out impressions and emotions long stuffed down into my legs. Bypassing my intellectual brain which wants to label and 'understand why' I feel what I feel and just washed me in my true raw feelings. And I cried. I cried, I screamed, I sobbed, whimpered, yelled, laughed, and felt the biggest release of my life.....Until Atarangi came and worked on my belly. Oh my, what exquisitely beautiful pain! As though I had never experience pain in my LIFE. And it was so healing. To just feel all the sadness, the anger, the fear and frustration, the disappointment, the heartache, the longing, the joy, I mean EVERYTHING I had ever not given myself space to feel surged through me as though the damn of my mind finally busted open. Whew. I was instructed to lie on the Earth and continue to let it go, to be supported and cleansed. So I did. Boy did I ever. And the clearing has not stopped since!
The power in the Maori, to me, is in their simplicity, in their whole presence. They are a real and practical people who embody love and know where they come from. They know they are children of the universe, of the stars. Their technique and traditions have been preserved in their culture for many many years and they have not forgotten their connection to the Earth and to every being that shares it with them. And their work helps to remind the receiver of the universal truth that we are ALL connected, that we can HEAL ourselves and that love and kindness are the vehicles to get us there.
-see their website here http://maorihealers.com/


Well, what next?
I went home. To be with my mother and grandmother. And realized that I had built them up to be different people in my reality. That my whole creation of them was inaccurate, that I wasn't listening to who they were, that I was just creating them to fit into my own reality. And that reality continued to shatter upon this epic realization! I mean, I was relating with my mother not as who she really is, but as this concept in my mind and heart. Not really connecting, not really open and I wondered how often I had been doing that in all my other relationships in life.....that's all changing now. What we are aware of we can change, what we are unaware of RUNS us!

With the new space that became available after the intimate side of my relationship with Peter ended doors and windows and whole houses flew open to me and I had to cry at the abundance and availability of love all around me as I headed out with my dear friend Atreyu to a Thai Massage Intensive with Mukti (http://www.vedicconservatory.com/). EXPLOSIVE transformation. At first, it was challenging to accept an end that opened new beginnings, the unknown in sight, the familiarity of relationship gone but you know what? I'm OK-He's OK-It's OK. (thank you Jacob) eyes open, heart open, just letting it hurt and being so very SEEN, and taken care of. So much gratitude for the safe space that was held for me to transform and let go, let go, let go. ........

And here I am/ Siddie La.....standing alone, but never really alone. My heart is SO full of beautiful amazing people. I cannot think of a SINGLE person I have met in my life that I have anything BUT love for. I have been blessed with SO many powerful, inspiring teachers and am now transitioning into my own power as a leader, as a teacher, as an eye opener.....yes, that is my calling......today anyways... ;)
At the Goddess Gathering I attended before leaving Gainesville (with some incredible powerful, beautiful, magical women) I pulled a Tarot card. The image was these little fairy bird creatures shooting arrows with fire balls in the tips. \I LOVED IT! The meaning I got from it is that I'm a fairy creature, and with my fiery Pitta/Scorpio nature I blast flaming arrows everywhere I go, awakening souls, personalities, true potential-and this is not ego, this is guidance I've received I want to share with you all to co-create reality.

We can DO and BE anything. Literally. ALL thoughts are things. The power of the human mind can literally not be charted. During the Thai Intensive there were Hawks circling over us the whole time we were working. And this is what I found about Hawk Medicine (the power of animal guides and spirits)

~~~*This powerful bird can awaken your visionary power, open your higher chakras to hear the messages of the Universe and lead you to your life purpose.Hawk teaches you how to soar to great heights while keeping your feet firmly on the ground, to grow spiritually, to live in this earth plane but not be a part of it but to expand to much greater dimensions. As smaller birds occasionally attack hawks, you are likely to be attacked by smaller people who do not understand your lofty beliefs or gifts. These people may try to impede your great ability to soar, to keep you grounded in their version of reality. The sky is Hawk’s realm, and through its flight it communicates with Heaven and the Great Creator Spirit, and conveys that knowledge to Earth: Hawk medicine unites Heaven and Earth.*~~~

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With that intention and power behind me, I leave you now for another 10 day adventure into myself. I depart for Vipassana, right now. Thank you ALL for your presence in my life and the world in general.

May the long time sun shine upon you. All love surround you and the pure light within you guide your way on.
Love-Light-and Gratitude.
Siddie-La