Vipassana

In the silence there is stillness.
In the stillness there is space.
In the space lie the answers.
If we only would close our eyes to look.
For ten days she journied inward. Surrounded by people, yet completely alone.
Alone, but not lonely. A new feeling for her.
His gaze burned into her from across the room. She remembered it well.
But dared not return it.
Be willing to come undone.
Echoed in her head space.
The heat in her body grew at an increasingly rapid rate.
Sweat beads formed and ran like rivers down her back, her brow, her chest. And yet she shivered.
Remain equanimous.
Her body began to quake.
Rocking from side to side.
Eyes fluttered open. Nothing.
stillness. stillness.
Eyes closed.
The physical body began to peel apart. Two sides. Like a banana, folding over-and over-and over- until the head pieces rested on the floor. Or was there still a floor?
Suddenly there was no up or down. No time or space. No body or identity. No "I"
What was left was heavy and dark. Painful and sad. A solidified mass in the air where 'Siddie' had once been.
But Wait!
Light!
Brilliant light began to sweep the soul force that was so dark, as if covered in thick, black tar.
Sweeping-Piercing-Sweeping-Piercing-Sweeping-Piercing.
Until, all there was, was light. and love.
She was completly suspended there. No body. No pain, no good sensation, no attachments no fear.....free.

Then the ego cam back online.
The sense of a 'body' returned. The heaviness and pain, the heat ran up and down her spine like electric shock. She collapsed into the wall behind her. And wept.

But she was lighter. She had developed new eyes. Ones that saw the world not as an interpretation of her design, not as she wished it to be. But as it actually was, moment to moment. In all its chaotic beauty.
Free heart. Free mind.

She could see him now. And she smiled.

The remaining days were not days. Time was immeasurable by any human means. Only moments and movements. movements and moments.
Repeated states of suspension were matched with repeated bouts of pain and suffering.
And she loved them both. Equanimously. Knowing they were both arising to pass. That there was no use clinging to any moment because by the time she recognized it, it would be gone. Some lingered longer, some passed quickly, but they all arose to fade away into the vastness of the universe.

And the work continues. Beings of love and light line this path, more and more every day. Like attracts like. and the love keeps showering in. More than one can take at times.
Just come back to sensations. respiration.
Experiential wisdom of the universe within.

Anicha, anicha, anicha.

May all beings find peace
May all beings find real happiness
May all beings find real love & compassion.
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